OGR 23/01/2013Hey Kinbi,Okay - I think your story is going to be a lot of fun, but there are some refinements in terms of set-up and character development I'm going to suggest.Firstly, you need to re-tool Act 1 so your character's occupation as brain surgeon is established immediately; as suggested, there's probably a really visual and quick way to a) establish his character and occupation and b) establish his fandom/love for the female character; one suggestion would be to use the idea of your brain surgeon using classical opera to promote calm in the surgery; so we hear the singer's voice, see him performing surgery, and maybe through a match-cut dissolve or similar you transition from the cd cover artwork featuring the singer to the singer on the stage of the concert hall and your surgeon in the audience. You could accomplish a lot of exposition quickly this way and save yourself some valuable screen time.Some other character design suggestions: firstly, I think you need to think a little less generically about your three characters; you need to knowingly use stereotype and existing audience awareness to accelerate your narrative. So, personally, I'd suggest your brain surgeon, Zack 'feels' too young and hip; brain surgeons tend to be seniority figures in the establishment, and maybe his name is too 'teen'.In terms of your two singers, check out the following references for some ideas:Iconic female opera singers:Maria Callas (very glamorous!)http://popingcherry.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/maria-callas.jpgMontserrat Caballé (not so glamorous, but very stereotypically 'opera')http://tearsforqueers.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/montserrat-caballe-wee.jpgLikewise - male opera singers:Jose Carreras;http://josepcarreras.operaduets.com/files/385x514_JoseCarreras.jpgThe singers from Il Divo:http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_uqiveKWjX-s/TDeVtw00_kI/AAAAAAAAACY/u2gUwMlN78Q/s1600/il-divo.jpeg
oh - and to help you in your up-and-coming character design job, I suggest you change your names, as they're generic too in terms of visualising personality/physicality. For example, your female opera singer needs a suitably glamorous name - so it might help to think of her as foreign and double-barreled; take a look at this wiki list of female opera singers and you'll quickly see what I mean...http://www.the-top-tens.com/lists/greatest-female-opera-singers.asplikewise for the men:http://www.ranker.com/list/famous-male-opera-singers/referenceoh - I know I appear to riding rough-shod over the jazz musician thing, and in truth, if it's jazz you want, then you just need to do the same process as above - go look at actual jazz musicians and singers etc. and use that research to create really memorable distinctive non-generic characters. The reason, I guess, why 'opera' feels more logical is because a) it makes better sense of your 'concert hall' (jazz is often associated with much less formal venues, for example) and also because in terms of associations, 'opera' is the culture of the professional elite - of which being a brain surgeon would be an example...Love the idea of these video diaries, Akinbi - let's see them asap! V. exciting! And finally - I think the brain scooping/blending sequence should absolutely take place in the hospital set, not the alleway; now that you've introduced this environment in Act 1, cutting back to it in Act 2 is fine.